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Maybe Your "Calling" Is Easier Than You Think!

1/9/2023

2 Comments

 
I often work with people in career transition, or wanting to re-energize their connection to life purpose. Sometimes it feels like those clients seek a "sacred job description." Wouldn't it be great if Source laid it all out for us?

​But, that's rarely how it works, as this cartoon from War and Peas playfully suggests:
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My sense, from conversations with colleagues, indigenous elders, and work in the Akashic Records is that most of what we traditionally value isn't all that important from a cosmic perspective. (That's not to say it doesn't count with our bosses, of course.)

What is cosmically important? Taking advantage of our incarnate form: that is, doing those things one can only do in a body, and with free will. That includes delighting in the world around us. Connecting in meaningful way with others. Being in and supporting the environment around us.

I wrote some about this subject after working with Kogi elders in Columbia, A Radically Different View of Purpose. Ditto A Kinder/Gentler Alternative to New Year's Resolutions. What I said there still stands.

And, if you're saying "yeah, yeah, but I want to live a life committed to purpose, and I'd like some insight on that--got any recommendations?"...I do! Lynne Twist just published an easy and amazing read, Living a Committed Life: Finding Freedom and Fulfillment in a Purpose in Something Larger than Yourself. And Stephen Cope's The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling is an old favorite that many clients have found useful, too. And, finally, another way to reconnect to your purpose in a quick and powerful way is through Core Intention work. I've already enjoyed working with many of you like that.

Hope you're off to a fun and engaging New Year. On my end, Gale West and I moved to California (Los Gatos in the Bay Area) in August, got married in October, and honeymooned in Patagonia. I am so grateful!

What's happened for you that you'd like to share? ​Feel free to touch base, and/or share insights.
2 Comments

Curious about Coaching/ Innovative Business Models?

11/21/2020

0 Comments

 
The Coach's circle interviews established coaches to help those entering the field and exploring business model refinements. You can hear mine below!
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Welcome to another episode of The Coach’s Circle Podcast!

Our show is all about showing you everything the world of coaching has to offer–what it is, what it isn’t, and whether it might be the right career choice for you.

Through our conversations with professionals in a variety of different mental health and wellness fields, you’ll gain valuable, real-world insight into their careers and consider how their experiences might impact your own career choices. Our interviews will feature coaches, therapists, counselors, personal trainers, and other professionals who incorporate coaching into their practices. Our hope is that these varied perspectives will help you come to understand exactly the type of coach you were meant to be.

Today’s special guest is Mark Hurwich. He is a Transformational Coach and the founder of Concentrated Coaching based in Evanston, Illinois.
​
Enjoy! 

Topics Covered

  • An introduction to Mark’s work and how his clients get “stuck”
  • A discussion on Mark’s unique fee structure
  • How Mark structures his sessions with clients and his process for reigniting their spark
  • The biggest challenge Mark faces in his coaching work

Notable Quote

​“Because the way that I work is so unusual, I decided […] to not charge people unless the first half day that we spend together moves them to a place where they can feel like something has already shifted. And if that doesn’t happen, then I don’t get paid. That doesn’t happen very often […] but that’s another aspect of designing my business in a way that very few people could do what I do and making it really different.”

Want more?

The Coach's Circle Podcast is produced by Life Coach Path, an online educational resource for anybody looking to start a thriving coaching practice. LCP publishes information on the subjects of certification, starting a coaching business, and the latest coaching methods and techniques. To read their most recent blog post, click here.
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Why Isn't 'Good Enough' Good Enough?

3/25/2020

7 Comments

 
A book, The Perfection of 'Good Enough,' has been inviting me to write it. It's about restoring honor to efforts that are 'good enough'--but not (yet) amazing...allowing 'excellence" and 'good enough' to actually be partners. 
​

Here's the intro chapter, including a meditation.

'Good Enough' as Tacit Rejection

PictureRejection, MHurwich
​There must have been a first time I learned that ‘good enough’ isn’t good enough. But I don’t remember it.
 
There must have been a time I yearned for validation. Ached for words that gave the sense of being OK, of being lovable, of being acceptable: “Wow, Markie, that’s amazing!” Or better still, “You’re amazing!”
 
But instead heard, “That’s not good enough. You can do better.” Code words I experienced as “You’re not good enough.”

PictureLoving, MHurwich
As an adult I can understand this. My parents had loving intentions and decent parenting skills. And yet… there was a negative alchemy going on. Somehow, their striving to support me to do and be well created a dark halo of ‘not enough.’ And that halo still hasn’t lost its sting. Results included:

  • A sense of defining my value by the approval of those around me, regardless of relationship or qualifications.

  • An orientation towards noticing what wasn’t quite right yet, rather than seeing and celebrating what WAS right.
    ​
Finally, like many of us, I learned to hold the phrase ‘good enough’ as meaning anything but. “That’s good enough” wasn’t a signal to pause and celebrate. Instead, what it really meant was, “Well, that’s probably the best you can do. I suppose if we must, we can settle for that. Too bad.”
 
Is the phrase ‘good enough’ like that for you? A grudging acceptance of the mediocre? Heavy with the energy of failure, focusing on an abstract perfection rather than the good that’s been created? A view that ignores the journey to get to that moment, and the potential of moments beyond?
 
Are you willing to try an experiment?
 
Try the exercise in the sidebar below. Or, if you’d prefer to hear it as a guided meditation, get some paper and a pencil, and click below:

Meditation: Innocence and 'Good Enough'

PictureDependent, MHurwich
Close your eyes. Go back to a time when you were little, and vulnerable, and looked to others to help you define your place in the world. Rest in that space for few moments. 
​

You can recall what it felt like to experience that innocence. What you saw when you looked at the world around you. What it was like to experience hearing others. Perhaps even the things you said to yourself. Pause and allow that to sink in.

Now, complete these sentences:
 
As a child, when I heard that something I did was ‘good enough,’ my mind interpreted that to mean [write the first thing that comes]: 
 
As a child, when I heard that something I did was ‘good enough,’ my heart felt that as meaning [write the first thing that comes]: 
 
When I tune into the phrase ‘good enough’ now, the energy it holds for me now is [write the first thing that comes]:
 
When I tune into how I feel now about the phrase ‘good enough,’ what I’d rather experience instead is [write the first thing that comes]:

​Take a moment and ponder what you’ve uncovered, and how it feels. 
 
For me and many others who’ve tried this exercise, there’s something like sadness, hurt, and frustration. Perhaps anger. Maybe even some shame. 
 
Why is this simple phrase, ‘good enough’ so present and so powerful?
 
Why does the phrase so often have the opposite impact to what the words literally mean? That when we hear ‘good enough’ it actually means ‘not good enough?’
 
And wouldn’t you love to experience ‘good enough’ in a way that allowed you to applaud what you’ve already accomplished? A phrase that invited celebration? An opening to choicefulness—freely choosing to stop and devote energy elsewhere, to continue improvement now, or simply to pause and see? A way to invite peace and repose?       

For many of us, ‘perfection’ and ‘good enough’ are polar opposites. When we hear, or say to ourselves, “That’s good enough,” it often feels like we’re settling for something far less than perfect. That our performance wasn’t what it should have been. That it wasn’t—and we weren’t—up to scratch.
 
But what if ‘perfection’ and ‘good enough’ actually crave to be partners? That the same joy and sense of accomplishment we yearn for in “That’s perfect” could actually be present in “That’s good enough?” That by allowing celebration of the ‘good enough,’ not only do we open ourselves to a greater experience of joy and self-love, we also create more potential for the beauty and aesthetic we seek in the ideal? ​
PictureBowl, MHurwich
​Because in fact, the more acceptance we bring to our path of incremental improvement, the stronger our stride towards perfection becomes, and the more nourishment we realize in our life journey!

​Welcome to The Perfection of ‘Good Enough.’
 
You’re already on your way to lovingly accepting where you are at this very moment… and marrying it to your ideals.

Comments welcomed...especially if you'd like to see this book continued! (If so, let me know what you'd most like me to expand on.)

7 Comments

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too? Realizing Audacious Intentions without Dysfunctional Expectations ... AND a Kinder/Gentler Alternative to New Year's Resolutions

12/16/2019

6 Comments

 
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​Aren’t we humans silly sometimes?
 
We strive to make a difference in the world, setting audacious goals. But, then, expectations creep in to match those bold intentions and we get attached. If we fall short--even if we moved many truckloads of dirt, rather than the entire mountain—we tend to invalidate what we did accomplish.
 
An alternative is to shoot for a moderate level of result that we’re more likely to attain. But since the problem stems from coupling aspirations to expectations, uncoupling them is better still. In effect, it allows you to have your cake (= what you dream of), and eat it too (= get nourishment from whatever the results are).
 
So here’s a life hack to develop powerful intentions and realistic expectations that improve the odds of getting what you really really want…and celebrating whatever you get. More ease. Less stress. Sound good? 


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The Hidden Folly of 'Why' Questions--And 5 Easy Alternatives

6/17/2019

4 Comments

 
Often, questions like “why did you...” flat-out don’t work, and don't generate compassionate curiosity. We get defensive. And withdraw from our hearts to our heads.
 
Really???

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Anchoring to Core Intention--Interview with Mark Hurwich, Workshop Leader (May 4, Evanston)

4/16/2019

1 Comment

 
We've all heard about the importance of our "why"- our higher purpose, our core intention. When connected to your core intention in a visceral way, what you thought you "ought" to do (but couldn't quite grasp) becomes something you can touch, feel, and experience viscerally, not just in your head.

Victories is sponsoring an open half-day workshop to help participants anchor to their Core Intention. Here's their interview with Mark on Core Intention, what's in the workshop, who it benefits, and how. You can view an event flyer with logistical and registration information here.
1 Comment

A Radically Different View of Purpose...Wisdom from Colombia’s Kogi

1/14/2019

18 Comments

 
PictureMamo Lorenzo, by M Hurwich
Winding through Colombia’s Sierra Nevadas, my mule clambered up a steep trail. I was entranced--and scared, especially when the mule's hoof slipped and I lurched to balance my weight in the saddle.

Why make this journey? To stay the evening in a Kogi village. To make offerings. And to learn from elders of this indigenous people. People who, centuries ago, fled our world to preserve their own—and only recently renewed contact with us.
 
Kogi “mamos” reinforced what I’d learned from shamans on prior journeys. And brought new perspective on why we're on the planet.


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Leading as Sacred Practice--Why?

10/10/2018

7 Comments

 
It used to be that organizations welcomed your hands and mind…but preferred that you leave your heart and soul at the door. [Note: if the word "soul" gets in the way, please substitute the word "spirit," "connection to higher power," or anything else that serves.] 
 
New movements—like Conscious Capitalism and others embracing passion-led workplaces—welcomed the heart. And they were a voice for diversity. But they didn’t engage spirit much beyond that.
 
But now, some are upping the ante. I recently spent a week in Germany with a team of senior executives and organizational development gurus who are advocates for “Leading as Sacred Practice.” That means fully recognizing people as inherently spiritual (not necessarily religious) beings. This view commits us to nourish the soul/spirit of people around us, and wherever else it shows up.
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Sunrise at LASP
This is a three-part blog, starting with why you may want to explore this (whether you're in an organization, or not). The second installment will talk about the key principles involved. The last installment will cover practices to help this approach function.

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How to Help without Giving Advice: Stop…is that Abuse? (Part 3)

8/8/2018

9 Comments

 
Pictureby JD Hancock (modified)
​I love my co-facilitator…but was ready to throw something at him the other night! 
 
Why? Together, we support a follow-up group from a men’s weekend. It’s a forum for heart-oriented sharing, in contrast to the typical figuring-it-out and giving advice.

​But instead of redirecting advice, this usually brilliant man was giving more!

I’ve already covered why giving advice can be abusive in a prior blog (Part 1)…and, how to stop it too (Part 2). 
 
But what to do instead? Here are three alternatives.

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How “Getting it Right” Can Make You Stupid: The Gifts of Anomaly, Ambiguity, and Many Possibilities

5/30/2018

5 Comments

 
​Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t. –Mark Twain
​It bucks the tide of years of education, reinforced by decades of expertise-building. Yet, my trying to “get it right” often erodes the end I have in mind: wise insight supporting empowered action. The more I focus on figuring stuff out—especially when I might have to defend it—the less wise and impactful I am.

How Could that Be?

​Did you read that subtitle as a challenging question, informed by a disbelieving position: “How could thatbe?” [No way!]
 
Or did it come to you from a place of wonder and curiosity: “How could that be?” [Wow! I can’t wait to find out!]
 
It’s not that learning has the aim of dumbing us down. There’s a kind of agenda-free discovery that builds wisdom. 
 
Still, I find that “knowing stuff” often narrows my perspective, perhaps an unintentional result of a system that wants us to learn…but in fact rewards us for being right and embracing what’s widely accepted. Figuring-it-out-based “intelligence” can alienate those who are not already onboard. It defeats my purpose of wanting to “connect and enroll”—a dynamic, instead, of “comply and cajole.” 

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Power Tool #2: After-Action Reviews

1/22/2018

3 Comments

 
PictureAndrew Hurwich learning to surf
Have you (or a team) just finished something? Perhaps an intense session with a client, or a creative project?

And you yearn for feedback--but fear it, too?

You'd like validation around what worked. And you'd like to learn what can be bettered. But who wants the blaming and esteem-eroding process of the typical post-mortem? (Let's face it: most performance reviews, of any kind, range from challenging to abusive!)

“After-Action Reviews” are a potent way to explore what happened, build esteem, and open learning. Particularly once you’ve established a DOV (Power Tool #1: Definition of Victory). They're easy too!


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Power Tool #1: Definition of Victory

11/15/2017

2 Comments

 
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"Definition of Victory" is a simple tool that can help clarify what you want and improve your odds of getting it--especially in situations that have potential to push your buttons. It applies before the fact--to help prepare something you want to bring about. 

Starting with a “definition of victory” makes it easier to experience whatever happens as feedback (rather than failure).  It’s the business equivalent of reminding yourself where traffic is flowing and where you want to go.  Do it before any important meeting, call, or activity. 


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Hit by a White Truck: Life-Changing Insights from My Own Brush with Death

9/28/2017

27 Comments

 
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Accident Scene, M Hurwich
12 September 2017...​It wasn’t what I planned for my French countryside journey. One moment, we’re passengers in a friend’s car on a charming two-lane highway, surrounded by verdant fields, set in a blue, cloud-kissed sky. The next moment, we’re a physics experiment: the windshield fills with a white service truck, crossing our path out of nowhere. And we collide.
A loud noise. We’re smashed against our seat belts as our car careens off the road, air bags explode, and we’re showered with glass. The car comes to a stop. I can’t breathe/I can’t breathe/I can’t breathe…”this isn’t sustainable”, I think…and then I am able to breathe, just a shallow one, and another. Places in my chest move that didn’t used to. We check on each other. It smells like smoke. Somehow, I get up. We leave the car, all four of us.
 
I wonder how I can possibly be alive: two vehicles collide, each at 90 km/h? Is there purpose in this? Why were we able to “walk away” from it so relatively unscathed?

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27 Comments

"I Want to, But...." Gently Engaging Reluctance to Start

8/28/2017

9 Comments

 
​Has a great person ever initiated work with you or someone you recommended…but delayed so much that the work never started? Are you open to additional ways to engage that situation?
 
Here’s excerpts from a real-life client scenario, following a great initial conversation:
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"Indecision Dice" by Anne-Lise Heinrichs

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Powerless or Overwhelmed by Recent Events? Wisdom I Received from Mayan Shamans

3/2/2017

17 Comments

 
Powerless, alienated, and off-center is how I felt returning to the U.S. from Guatemala recently. Many of my friends were overwhelmed by the state of affairs too, prompting me to explore root-cause-level solutions. I'd like to share what I've learned.
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Prior to my return, I’d spent 17 days in Guatemala with shamans learning Mayan ritual, indigenous ways, and the impact of our entitled culture on others. I'd made a similar trip to the Amazon last fall.  I came back on January 27—not only my first day in a country with a new leader, but also the first day of a newly restrictive US immigration policy. 


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How Grace Stevens' Gender Change Can Inspire Your Own Bold Leap

11/21/2016

7 Comments

 
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​Knowing how another’s journey can inform our own, I asked Grace Stevens to guest blog about her experience in getting unstuck, to live authentically. As shared from the main stage at the recent IFS conference, Grace spent over sixty years hiding and denying her inner truth…but finally engaged in a process the led to transitioning her gender at the age of sixty-four. I don’t mean to diminish the angst of switching jobs, starting a new company, getting that book written, or playing bigger/more authentically in other ways. But Grace’s story brings additional perspective that can inspire us all.


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What's "Entrepreneur's Block"?--and 6 Ways to Dissolve It

10/28/2016

6 Comments

 
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Consider. A creative business opportunity calls you to bring it to life. At first, you’re captivated--moved to find this idea’s best expression. But as you do, the enormity of the task starts to get to you. After all, this hasn’t been done before—at least not by you.  Are you up to it? 

Doubt sets in. It takes work to realize this vision. Time and energy, especially when you’ve got many other things to do, are hard to find. You become frustrated, struggling, and perhaps even ashamed.


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Sleeping on a Volcano

9/1/2016

9 Comments

 
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Photo by Heeusk Ekorb, via unsplash.com

I slept on the slopes of a volcano during my recent trip to Ecuador and the Amazon, along with John Perkins and 33 others. John's words about the experience we shared are so powerful, I’m re-blogging them. (More to come on that journey, and learning from the indigenous peoples and shamans. A sneak preview: it helped me realize my own core intention goes beyond helping stuck entrepreneurs and creatives. It extends to "preserving the expression of all beings.")

I hope you enjoy John’s piece in the meantime.

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Hey, Can You Come Out and Play with Me? (The Value of Playfulness in Coaching, Therapy, and Life)

6/23/2016

9 Comments

 
How do Internal Family Systems, homicidal men, and Dropbox hold clues about a hidden asset in personal development?
​
I’ll answer this riddle shortly. But first, what is that asset?
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Stop...is that Abuse? Part 2: Remedies for Unintentionally Harmful Advice-Giving

4/22/2016

6 Comments

 
Picturewww.nyphotographic.com
The blog “Stop…is that Abuse?” garnered 27 responses—clearly, a lot of you have experienced advice-giving that backfired.

So here’s a follow-up, with both “how to be” as well as “what to do” remedies.


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    Portrait of Mark Hurwich

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    Mark has over 40 years of experience in strategy, and sales/marketing — from startups to multinationals.

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