Ever wonder about where "intuition" comes from, and how to get more of it? Especially those game-changing insights so powerful, they seem to come from some other, very special place? 
 
I thought I’d share some of my intuition journey, in case it's helpful to you.

​I’d been working with a client; let’s call her Jennifer. In an IFS session, I kept getting the urge to ask Jennifer a question that was definitely NOT part of the standard IFS canon. Yet, much as I asked my parts to step back, it felt like this question really really wanted to be asked. 
 
Finally, I said “I have an unusual question, and I’m not sure where it’s coming from. It might be just a part of me that wants to be clever. How do you and your parts feel about me asking it?” 
 
Almost immediately Jennifer said “Go for it.” 
 
I replied, “You know, that ‘yes’ might be coming from compliant parts. Can you double check that it’s ok with all of your parts?” 
 
Jennifer took a few moments, and then gave me a “yes” that felt fully Self-led.
 
So, I asked: “Are you noticing something yellow in the space you’re in now?” [See what I mean about this not being in the IFS canon?!!]
 
“Oh, how did you know?” Jennifer replied. “There’s a yellow bird here, and I only noticed it now. Wow! It’s really happy I noticed it.”
 
Recalling Dick [Schwartz, IFS Founder]'s guidance to “trust Self” and “ask the part,” I suggested: “If it feels right, check in with the bird and see what it might want for you next.”
 
“Oh,” said Jennifer, “it wants me to follow it into a different space.” So, Jennifer did that…and, the course of the work we were doing jumped to a higher level.

​I was really excited by that breakthrough. I wasn’t at all sure how I’d come up with that question, but it certainly seemed to be a powerful one. So, as you might imagine, when I was doing work with other clients, I’d see if there were similar questions to be asked. 
 
I prefaced my questions with the same caveat I used with Jennifer, so asking didn’t seem to disrupt our process. But none of the questions I’d come up with landed in a useful way. Hmmm, maybe “I” hadn’t come up with that question in the first place!

​It happened I had a level 3 training coming up. Those are a room of experienced IFSers and Dick, exploring whatever the group agrees to. When I had the chance, I shared my “yellow bird” experience, and asked Dick if he had any insight.
 
“You uncovered a guide,” said Dick. “You might think of guides as very Self-led parts that have no agenda or fears of their own; they’re only there to assist the person whose system they’re supporting—what some people might call a ‘guardian angel’. They often have useful information and insights, and are also very respectful of free will. In most circumstances, that means you have to ask them for their help; they only rarely volunteer it.”
 
I’d actually had a few guides show up in other client sessions and some of my own, but I realized Dick knew oodles more than I did about working in this realm. I asked if he could spend some time on it in the Level 3. Others were also intrigued, so we did.
 
It was amazing, and left me hungry for more. “Dick, that was great! Any suggestions for getting still more connection to that kind of wisdom and insight, and how to improve my intuition in general?” 
 
Dick suggested I build clarity about what I wanted, and invite the universe to respond. I created some intention statements around gaining more intuitive access, and reviewed them every now and then to keep the inquiry alive.

​A few months later, I was presenting on Core Intention at the 2013 annual IFS conference…and Gale West, now my wife, was presenting as well on her work with Money. It turned out that our presentations were back-to-back.  Gale was in my session…and then, I was in hers. 
 
Gale asked for a demo volunteer. I was tired from presenting, so I certainly had no intention of volunteering. Yet, somehow, my hand was in the air…and Gale picked me.
 
We then did work concerning money and parts active around it. There were times in the session that Gale would not only ask great questions, but also comment on what she observed I was experiencing in my internal space. She seemed to know where one burden was located in my body without me even having to say anything. And, she also knew some of its characteristics (e.g., it was cold and white). How did she know that?
 
After the conference, I kept Gale’s card on the corner of my desk for a while, thinking there was something we were meant to do together—although I had no idea what it was.
 
After a few weeks of trying to figure this out on my own, I finally called Gale--maybe she’d have some idea about what we were meant to do next. Gale suggested that because the demo session was short by its nature, it might make sense to continue what we’d started at the conference. I volunteered a session where I’d lead her, to reciprocate.
 
The exchange went well. However, although I was convinced Gale had some magic up her sleeve that I wanted to learn more about, I still didn’t quite know what that magic was. 
 
Some weeks later (January, 2014), it occurred to me that what Gale did might be useful to Jennifer, the client I’d had the yellow bird experience with. I asked Gale if she’d consider doing a session with my client…and, if the client were ok with it, could I listen in too? I checked in, and we were all in agreement.

​So, Gale led a session with Jennifer. It created some new openings for that client, and I was very appreciative.
 
Gale also asked me what I thought of the session. I started with an answer from my head, which Gale listened to attentively…and then she asked “Mark, what is your heart saying about what you observed?”
 
“Well, honestly, my heart is feeling like we might have done work like this together in a past life.” (No, this was not at all a typical thing for me to say, especially at that time.) “And it’s also wanting me to come to Chicago to apprentice with you to learn how to bring more of what you’re doing to my work.” (I was in the Philadelphia area.) 
 
It turned out that the next date free on both our calendars was a weekend that Gale was doing a Level 1 Akashic Records class. And learning how to reliably access the Akashic Records was exactly the opening to having more of the intuition I sought—kind of a Google of the hidden universe. 
 
Since then, I’ve attended dozens of classes, and even got certified in the Records. (By the way, getting certified in IFS was a cake walk compared to the Akashic Records certification.) I use it implicitly in pretty much all of the coaching I do. When I have my Records open, “yellow bird” kind of insights show up more. It’s also more clear what’s coming from parts that want to be helpful, vs. real Akashic Records guides. Learning to discern that difference is a large part of Records training, and it’s a really valuable skill on its own. I also learned to ask better questions.
 
By now, there are more than a hundred clients and others who’ve asked me to open their Records directly (and/or Records of their business, a book they’re writing, etc.). It’s been an amazing gift! If you’d like to explore that yourself, follow this link to Gale’s upcoming Level 1 Akashic Records Class. It will tell you more about the Akashic Records, including information about the first training Gale’s offering since the pandemic, on November 8 and 9. Virtual, so you can join from anywhere!

​I’d thought my journey around intuition was mostly complete, but then the universe gifted me again. I recognized the name of a speaker, Due Quach, in a neuroscience-based coach training program Gale had signed up for.  Due and I had been colleagues at Monitor, the strategy consulting firm.
 
It turns out that after Due left Monitor, got her Wharton MBA, and had a stint as a leader in a private equity operation in Asia, she still felt something missing. She spent a year exploring her roots, and decided to return to (inner city) Philadelphia in order to find a means to bring healing to many people trapped there. As a result, she wrote the book Calm Clarity (one of Fast Company's 7 Best Business Books of 2018) and started a company of the same name.

Calm Clarity’s mission is to use neuroscience to develop the leadership capacity of human beings to co-create a world where every person thrives. Calm Clarity synthesizes science, mindfulness, and leadership development to provide a "user manual" for steering brain development that enables people to experience alignment, wholeness, and self-actualization. The ultimate goal is a scalable leadership development platform than can support people to harness their inner wisdom to improve their lives, their organizations, and their communities. I’ve written about Calm Clarity in prior blogs; in particular how to transcend our brains fear and craving circuitry to bring still more of our “inner sage” into play.
 
Calm Clarity is also exploring the notion of “conscious co-creation.” That is, tools and approaches that bring higher consciousness (including shared universal consciousness) to create transformation in a work setting. If you’re curious about that, see our Concept Paper.
 
A few years ago, I joined Due’s Board, and have been spending maybe 5-10 hours a week supporting the organization. Would you like to play with us too? The beginning step is to take Calm Clarity’s Foundation Workshop, “Lead in Alignment and Wholeness.” The next one starts Wednesday, October 9, and continues for a total of four sessions.
 
The workshop provides you with a "user manual” for steering brain development. It guides you to activate and strengthen the neural systems for attention, resilience, meta-awareness, and connection---critical neural systems that enable people to collaborate together to form high-performing teams that achieve impactful outcomes while enhancing well-being, innovation, creativity, and flow. 
 
As these 4 neural systems get stronger, they enable you to feel more and more aligned and whole, and deepen your capacity to experience wisdom, fulfillment, joy, and many other qualities that enable you to rise to challenges, build meaningful relationships, and positively impact your communities.
 
It’s been life changing for those who’ve experienced it, and many have also benefited from the community program graduates create. After all, even the best of us have only a limited connection with our inner sage. It’s a lot easier to do that more often when you’re around others already committed to that intention, right?

​Please check out any links that interest you. And, if a fast conversation would be helpful, you can set one up here. (That will hold fifteen minutes for us to talk and a fifteen minute buffer.)

I hope this email finds you well, yet I'd also understand if it doesn't. If you are feeling high levels of stress, worry, insecurity, and/or anxiety, you are not alone.

Wouldn't it be great to have proven neuroscience-based tools to have more access to your Higher Self, and calm stress?  Check out the blog below and the workshop it references to learn more, from Calm Clarity, the company whose Board I recently joined.

In this age of increasing speed, change, volatility, and uncertainty, so many people are experiencing overwhelm and burn-out. That's because they spend so much time in Brain 1.0 (a state of hypervigilance) and Brain 2.0 (a state of chasing and escapism, often to cope with Brain 1.0) and not enough time in Brain 3.0 (a state of alignment and wholeness). More time in Brain 3.0 enables us to recover, re-center, and access inner wisdom and compassion. In this state, it’s easier to rise to challenges and co-create effective solutions.

Unfortunately, letting life sweep us into Brain 1.0 and Brain 2.0 for long periods of time can lock us into a negative spiral. Why? Because we need to regularly activate and use Brain 3.0 to make it strong enough to calm and integrate Brain 1.0 and Brain 2.0. When Brain 3.0 is under-developed or “deactivated,” your inner demons in Brain 1.0 and Brain 2.0 have free rein to add to your suffering and agitation. That keeps keeps you in a state of chronic stress.
​
If this resonates, please read this newly updated article: "What is Brain 3.0 and Why Do We Need More of It?"

​Would you like to build more Brain 3.0? Please join Calm Clarity's next virtual workshop, or any of the open community events. You can find them on the calendar here: www.calmclarity.org/events Note that in addition to a very powerful learning experience, you'll also have access after the workshop to the tools you'll learn, as well as a community of those joining you.

I often work with people in career transition, or wanting to re-energize their connection to life purpose. Sometimes it feels like those clients seek a "sacred job description." Wouldn't it be great if Source laid it all out for us?

​But, that's rarely how it works, as this cartoon from War and Peas playfully suggests:

My sense, from conversations with colleagues, indigenous elders, and work in the Akashic Records is that most of what we traditionally value isn't all that important from a cosmic perspective. (That's not to say it doesn't count with our bosses, of course.)

What is cosmically important? Taking advantage of our incarnate form: that is, doing those things one can only do in a body, and with free will. That includes delighting in the world around us. Connecting in meaningful way with others. Being in and supporting the environment around us.

I wrote some about this subject after working with Kogi elders in Columbia, A Radically Different View of Purpose. Ditto A Kinder/Gentler Alternative to New Year's Resolutions. What I said there still stands.

And, if you're saying "yeah, yeah, but I want to live a life committed to purpose, and I'd like some insight on that--got any recommendations?"...I do! Lynne Twist just published an easy and amazing read, Living a Committed Life: Finding Freedom and Fulfillment in a Purpose in Something Larger than Yourself. And Stephen Cope's The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling is an old favorite that many clients have found useful, too. And, finally, another way to reconnect to your purpose in a quick and powerful way is through Core Intention work. I've already enjoyed working with many of you like that.

Hope you're off to a fun and engaging New Year. On my end, Gale West and I moved to California (Los Gatos in the Bay Area) in August, got married in October, and honeymooned in Patagonia. I am so grateful!

What's happened for you that you'd like to share? ​Feel free to touch base, and/or share insights.

The Coach's circle interviews established coaches to help those entering the field and exploring business model refinements. You can hear mine below!

Welcome to another episode of The Coach’s Circle Podcast!

Our show is all about showing you everything the world of coaching has to offer–what it is, what it isn’t, and whether it might be the right career choice for you.

Through our conversations with professionals in a variety of different mental health and wellness fields, you’ll gain valuable, real-world insight into their careers and consider how their experiences might impact your own career choices. Our interviews will feature coaches, therapists, counselors, personal trainers, and other professionals who incorporate coaching into their practices. Our hope is that these varied perspectives will help you come to understand exactly the type of coach you were meant to be.

Today’s special guest is Mark Hurwich. He is a Transformational Coach and the founder of Concentrated Coaching based in Evanston, Illinois.
​
Enjoy! 

​There must have been a first time I learned that ‘good enough’ isn’t good enough. But I don’t remember it.
 
There must have been a time I yearned for validation. Ached for words that gave the sense of being OK, of being lovable, of being acceptable: “Wow, Markie, that’s amazing!” Or better still, “You’re amazing!”
 
But instead heard, “That’s not good enough. You can do better.” Code words I experienced as “You’re not good enough.”

​Take a moment and ponder what you’ve uncovered, and how it feels. 
 
For me and many others who’ve tried this exercise, there’s something like sadness, hurt, and frustration. Perhaps anger. Maybe even some shame. 
 
Why is this simple phrase, ‘good enough’ so present and so powerful?
 
Why does the phrase so often have the opposite impact to what the words literally mean? That when we hear ‘good enough’ it actually means ‘not good enough?’
 
And wouldn’t you love to experience ‘good enough’ in a way that allowed you to applaud what you’ve already accomplished? A phrase that invited celebration? An opening to choicefulness—freely choosing to stop and devote energy elsewhere, to continue improvement now, or simply to pause and see? A way to invite peace and repose?       

For many of us, ‘perfection’ and ‘good enough’ are polar opposites. When we hear, or say to ourselves, “That’s good enough,” it often feels like we’re settling for something far less than perfect. That our performance wasn’t what it should have been. That it wasn’t—and we weren’t—up to scratch.
 
But what if ‘perfection’ and ‘good enough’ actually crave to be partners? That the same joy and sense of accomplishment we yearn for in “That’s perfect” could actually be present in “That’s good enough?” That by allowing celebration of the ‘good enough,’ not only do we open ourselves to a greater experience of joy and self-love, we also create more potential for the beauty and aesthetic we seek in the ideal? ​

​Because in fact, the more acceptance we bring to our path of incremental improvement, the stronger our stride towards perfection becomes, and the more nourishment we realize in our life journey!

​Welcome to The Perfection of ‘Good Enough.’
 
You’re already on your way to lovingly accepting where you are at this very moment… and marrying it to your ideals.

Comments welcomed...especially if you'd like to see this book continued! (If so, let me know what you'd most like me to expand on.)

​Aren’t we humans silly sometimes?
 
We strive to make a difference in the world, setting audacious goals. But, then, expectations creep in to match those bold intentions and we get attached. If we fall short--even if we moved many truckloads of dirt, rather than the entire mountain—we tend to invalidate what we did accomplish.
 
An alternative is to shoot for a moderate level of result that we’re more likely to attain. But since the problem stems from coupling aspirations to expectations, uncoupling them is better still. In effect, it allows you to have your cake (= what you dream of), and eat it too (= get nourishment from whatever the results are).
 
So here’s a life hack to develop powerful intentions and realistic expectations that improve the odds of getting what you really really want…and celebrating whatever you get. More ease. Less stress. Sound good? 

Often, questions like “why did you...” flat-out don’t work, and don't generate compassionate curiosity. We get defensive. And withdraw from our hearts to our heads.
 
Really???

We've all heard about the importance of our "why"- our higher purpose, our core intention. When connected to your core intention in a visceral way, what you thought you "ought" to do (but couldn't quite grasp) becomes something you can touch, feel, and experience viscerally, not just in your head.

Victories is sponsoring an open half-day workshop to help participants anchor to their Core Intention. Here's their interview with Mark on Core Intention, what's in the workshop, who it benefits, and how. You can view an event flyer with logistical and registration information here.

Winding through Colombia’s Sierra Nevadas, my mule clambered up a steep trail. I was entranced--and scared, especially when the mule's hoof slipped and I lurched to balance my weight in the saddle.

Why make this journey? To stay the evening in a Kogi village. To make offerings. And to learn from elders of this indigenous people. People who, centuries ago, fled our world to preserve their own—and only recently renewed contact with us.
 
Kogi “mamos” reinforced what I’d learned from shamans on prior journeys. And brought new perspective on why we're on the planet.

It used to be that organizations welcomed your hands and mind…but preferred that you leave your heart and soul at the door. [Note: if the word "soul" gets in the way, please substitute the word "spirit," "connection to higher power," or anything else that serves.] 
 
New movements—like Conscious Capitalism and others embracing passion-led workplaces—welcomed the heart. And they were a voice for diversity. But they didn’t engage spirit much beyond that.
 
But now, some are upping the ante. I recently spent a week in Germany with a team of senior executives and organizational development gurus who are advocates for “Leading as Sacred Practice.” That means fully recognizing people as inherently spiritual (not necessarily religious) beings. This view commits us to nourish the soul/spirit of people around us, and wherever else it shows up.

​I love my co-facilitator…but was ready to throw something at him the other night! 
 
Why? Together, we support a follow-up group from a men’s weekend. It’s a forum for heart-oriented sharing, in contrast to the typical figuring-it-out and giving advice.

​But instead of redirecting advice, this usually brilliant man was giving more!

I’ve already covered why giving advice can be abusive in a prior blog (Part 1)…and, how to stop it too (Part 2). 
 
But what to do instead? Here are three alternatives.

​It bucks the tide of years of education, reinforced by decades of expertise-building. Yet, my trying to “get it right” often erodes the end I have in mind: wise insight supporting empowered action. The more I focus on figuring stuff out—especially when I might have to defend it—the less wise and impactful I am.

​Did you read that subtitle as a challenging question, informed by a disbelieving position: “How could thatbe?” [No way!]
 
Or did it come to you from a place of wonder and curiosity: “How could that be?” [Wow! I can’t wait to find out!]
 
It’s not that learning has the aim of dumbing us down. There’s a kind of agenda-free discovery that builds wisdom. 
 
Still, I find that “knowing stuff” often narrows my perspective, perhaps an unintentional result of a system that wants us to learn…but in fact rewards us for being right and embracing what’s widely accepted. Figuring-it-out-based “intelligence” can alienate those who are not already onboard. It defeats my purpose of wanting to “connect and enroll”—a dynamic, instead, of “comply and cajole.” 

Have you (or a team) just finished something? Perhaps an intense session with a client, or a creative project?

And you yearn for feedback--but fear it, too?

You'd like validation around what worked. And you'd like to learn what can be bettered. But who wants the blaming and esteem-eroding process of the typical post-mortem? (Let's face it: most performance reviews, of any kind, range from challenging to abusive!)

“After-Action Reviews” are a potent way to explore what happened, build esteem, and open learning. Particularly once you’ve established a DOV (Power Tool #1: Definition of Victory). They're easy too!

"Definition of Victory" is a simple tool that can help clarify what you want and improve your odds of getting it--especially in situations that have potential to push your buttons. It applies before the fact--to help prepare something you want to bring about. 

Starting with a “definition of victory” makes it easier to experience whatever happens as feedback (rather than failure).  It’s the business equivalent of reminding yourself where traffic is flowing and where you want to go.  Do it before any important meeting, call, or activity. 

A loud noise. We’re smashed against our seat belts as our car careens off the road, air bags explode, and we’re showered with glass. The car comes to a stop. I can’t breathe/I can’t breathe/I can’t breathe…”this isn’t sustainable”, I think…and then I am able to breathe, just a shallow one, and another. Places in my chest move that didn’t used to. We check on each other. It smells like smoke. Somehow, I get up. We leave the car, all four of us.
 
I wonder how I can possibly be alive: two vehicles collide, each at 90 km/h? Is there purpose in this? Why were we able to “walk away” from it so relatively unscathed?

Powerless, alienated, and off-center is how I felt returning to the U.S. from Guatemala recently. Many of my friends were overwhelmed by the state of affairs too, prompting me to explore root-cause-level solutions. I'd like to share what I've learned.

Prior to my return, I’d spent 17 days in Guatemala with shamans learning Mayan ritual, indigenous ways, and the impact of our entitled culture on others. I'd made a similar trip to the Amazon last fall.  I came back on January 27—not only my first day in a country with a new leader, but also the first day of a newly restrictive US immigration policy.