Have you ​ever been in a group where people were sharing good advice? Often the recipient gets terrific insight. But I was struck by a mastermind experience that was quite a contrast…what felt like an unintentionally abusive situation that's common, but often overlooked.
 
Our hot seat colleague (we’ll call her Mindy) had asked about how to “get out there” more—be more visible in her community. Mindy had a truly useful service.  She wanted more people to know about it, and build her business as well. The group had great suggestions about speaking…blogging…not just topics, but how to reach a tribe who’d get her genius and support her. Yay!!!
 
I was eager to throw my ideas out, too…but something made me pause.  I realized that with each new idea, Mindy’s energy was dropping lower and lower.  Almost like a boxer being punched in a ring—valiantly standing as long as she could, each idea landed on Mindy as if it were a blow, rather than the support intended. 

This post originally appeared on Sally Chapralis' First Person Public Relations blog. To view the original post, click here.

Entrepreneurs’ block? Time for a career change?  Writers’ block?  Weak executive presence? Or, phobias that affect your behavior?

“We think we’re naturally logical and should know how to respond to these challenges,” explains Mark R. Hurwich, MBA, Concentrated Coaching, LLC. “People have passions to pursue or realize they need to open a new chapter in their lives. But internal struggles get in the way and block progress. Because it makes no sense when we get stuck that way, we respond by trying the same ‘rational’ things over and over – forcing ourselves to try to do what we know we ought to and have enough skills for.”

“However, trying to act in that rational way itself makes no sense! Humans aren’t designed to be rational 100% of the time…and when we can’t be, different strategies are needed.”

Mark offers alternative strategies, insights, success stories, FAQs and experience that can lead to a dramatic difference at concentratedcoaching.net. Here are a few of his suggestions for getting unstuck.

• “Acknowledge your emotions.” Mark reminds us that our behavior will not always be logical and is affected by our emotions, which we must acknowledge, identify and address. Thus, when we’re “feeling stuck,” there are emotions behind the scenes, especially fear. Coming to terms with them can be liberating and help us see and act on rewarding possibilities and opportunities
• “Explore the solution, not just the problem. When we’re stuck, we tend to dwell in that space of problem and failure, and recreate more negative energy. We can change that by looking at what it will be like when we have the outcomes we want.”
• “Remind yourself of your gifts. When we get stuck in a problem state, we feel incompetent. That feeds our fear and saps our energy for change. Reminding yourself of the special talents you bring can be an antidote for that—especially when you have a trusted friend of partner to help you,” Mark adds. For example, you might say, “People appreciate my creativity, my team spirit or my leadership skills.” That can build confidence so you can represent yourself in a way that supports a new working relationship, whether as an entrepreneur or working for another organization. “As my clients recall their gifts, they often say, ‘I needed this useful lesson and helpful reminder’.”
• “Experience the journey with self-compassion and playfulness. People who are too hard on themselves delay the process and their potential. If you have been in this position – feeling stuck and more confused – try to step back, relax and accept yourself. That’s when the magic happens.”
• “Put yourself in the future you want, and then interview yourself from that perspective.” Think of it as a time machine taking you into your future. When you imagine the experience you want, it helps you achieve it or a version of it in reality. Do it by actually putting yourself in the future – not looking at the future from the present. The former eases our fears because most of our brain can’t distinguish imagining from the actual experience. The latter tends to focus us on how-to’s that aren’t relevant yet and only build fear. When our fear circuits are active, it’s hard to be creative.”
• “Talk to your parts.” Mark reminds us that “we’re not monolithic and each of us has different parts and personalities. It’s like an internal family system – sometimes in a civil war. [See the movie Inside Out if you want a current, fun example!] So, moderate the conversation between your two opposing parts, identify pros and cons, and you will soon understand the different perspectives and find common ground that helps you feel unstuck.”

As you consider Mark’s suggestions, you might also appreciate his Warm Up Exercise.

We all know how important listening is, right?  

But client / Forbes columnist Dan Woods took that a step further — to realize that the tools he learned in his coaching held the secrets of great leaders and business innovators from Steve Jobs to Jerome Robbins. And it's not just how to listen, but to what: products, companies, and ideas will actually talk to you if you know how to invite them to do so. (And apart from writing a great article, Dan was also kind enough to plug me and fellow coach Gale West for our contributions to his thinking.)

Check out the article, Listen to Your Product: Design Lessons from Fiddler on the Roof

You'll find it especially useful if you're tackling something entrepreneurial, or any other creative endeavor where an additional muse would help you.

Originally posted on the Trusted Advisor Associates LLC Trust Matters blog.

I was recently chatting with a good friend, Mark Hurwich, about some of the struggles we encounter when it comes to walking into a sales meeting. I think Mark hit the nail on the head when he spoke about how we can really be run by inner pre-adolescents that can take over even when we’re the most prepared — inevitably keeping us from closing a sale. I asked him to speak more on the subject — and it turned into this week’s guest blog post.

Originally posted on the Open Door Publication, Inc. blog.

Got a great idea for a book or article, enough skill to write it … and it’s not getting done? Or, worse still, maybe you’re successfully forcing yourself to write, but despite months of work aren’t producing anything you like.

You hate this block, and quite possibly yourself, too … right?

Salvation can actually lie in befriending your writer’s block, or at least what’s behind it. If you really want it to leave you … find a place to love the parts of you that created it.

Originally posted on the Natural Awakenings Magazine blog.

Achieving meaningful personal growth isn’t easy, particularly if the goal is real transformation instead of incremental change. A tool to try for achieving major change is the “Miracle Question.”

It originated in solutions focused therapy, and is particularly useful when individuals are lost in the depths of a problem with no clear path forward. What is the Miracle Question?


Imagine that, when you went to sleep tonight, a miracle occurred that started to solve the problem you’re struggling with. But since you were sleeping, you didn’t know. When you woke up, what small things might you notice that would tell you the miracle had occurred?