What to Expect
See below for more detail on each phase of this journey. |
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What's the Work Like?
If you're the kind of person who likes to know what they're getting into, the outline below will help. It's a non-specific overview of some of the tools I use to help you achieve the results you are looking for. And, of course, it only describes what might happen to you — the process and the intention. The shifts that take place within you will definitely be unique to you!
Exploratory Session
For most clients, the first step is a 45-60 minute exploratory session. It helps us both better understand what you’re looking for, and see if a concentrated approach is appropriate. I’ll focus on the outcomes you want. I’ll also ask about shifts you might want to see in yourself to confirm that a new path is opening up. And, of course, I’ll answer your questions as well.
During this session, we can both assess our match. If you are like most of my clients, you live a busy life and are preparing to express some vulnerability to achieve your goals. You need someone you can trust, who you feel good about and who has the right resources. I want a good match, too. There's no point in selling you my services if the odds of helping are remote. That would waste my time and yours.
If we decide not to work together, I still strive to make the time we spend useful. You might find the area where you were stalled started to lighten up just as a result of the conversation. Sometimes our exploratory session can help you define what you are seeking. That might lead you to realize you don’t really want to change things right now or that you need a different kind of resource. I might even suggest one. Or, you might just need some time to confirm you’re ripe for this kind of work — we’ll work together, just not yet.
Preparation
If we both want to work together, or if you need help deciding, I’ll offer one of several writing exercises as preparation for our concentrated session. These typically take 15 minutes a day and are done for just three or four days. This preparation might be a way to further clarify the outcomes you seek if you could get what you REALLY wanted — as opposed to what seems feasible. Or, it might be a way to help you relax about something that’s getting in the way of the result you want, so that it’s easier for you to shift. These exercises will be structured in a way that you’ll find them easy, even playful, to do — and, if not, I’ll ask you not to do them. The idea is to reduce burdens, not increase them!
I’ll also ask you to review and sign a “coaching agreement.” It’s a one-page document that asks you to certify that you’re a healthy candidate for this type of work, that you understand that it’s not therapy or a substitute for therapy, that you’ll be on time for the work we schedule and give me appropriate notice if not, and so on. Apart from the kind of legal protection that’s a reality of today’s world, this document is intended to set the stage for a serious commitment to the work you’re planning.
Concentrated Session
Most of the work happens in this concentrated session. Usually, I plan for three hours — sometimes we wrap sooner, sometimes later. Most of my clients work with me by Skype or phone, but face-to-face can be an option too. Usually, I schedule the concentrated session up between a week and a month from the initial exploratory session. The session has four components.
By the time we’re finished, you might also want to spend some time journaling or taking notes. It’s also ok to audio record the sessions we do if that’s helpful for you, so long as they’re for your use only.
First Follow-up Session
We will also schedule a follow-up session about two weeks after the concentrated session. I’ll schedule this for 90 minutes so we have the time if required. You might not need any follow-up at all, other than to have the experience of talking about how things have shifted and where you see yourself going next. But it's wise to check.
I’ll ask you to perform an after-action review of the time between the concentrated session and the follow up. Looking at the areas in which you wanted to see a shift, you’ll review what worked and also, with the benefit of hindsight, what you might have added (or subtracted) to achieve an even better result in the period you’re reviewing. We’ll spend perhaps 20-30 minutes on that. Often, that will identify some small piece of work we can do in the remaining time to further accelerate your progress. We’ll probably do that work using the same "inner alignment" tools we used in the third step of the concentrated coaching session. Sometimes there are a few others that we’ll use as well.
Additional Follow-Up Sessions
If you made a lot of progress following the concentrated session, but it feels like there’s still more distance to go, we’ll schedule a second follow-up session (and most likely a few after). The goal in this coaching is not for me to follow you on every step of the path we opened up, but I want to make sure you’re comfortable enough on your own. We’ll schedule those if they’re needed, typically using the same format (after action review, and some kind of work/exercise in the balance of the time).
That's a Wrap
It’s usually pretty clear when it’s time to stop.
More commonly, after the follow-up, you’ll have renewed energy for what you’d been struggling with. You’ll trust yourself to know how to get there — including knowing what else you might need to learn, or where the best way to learn is to just be in action. You’ll feel pretty much aligned internally and understand still better how to reach that alignment on your own That sense of pain and tiredness that you used to have around your objective will have dissolved. If that’s the case, my job is done.
In a few cases where I’m working with more deep-seated issues (e.g., a with a nutritionist I've partnered with for weight management), or where there’s other forms of complexity (a number of complicated businesses or other challenges all present at the same time), clients have asked me to continue to work with them for few months longer than the concentrated coaching approach would normally take. As long as I’m continuing to add value and as long as I am the best resource for the job, I’m happy to do this too. And, of course, sometimes someone I worked with months before encounters a new kind of block, and wants help on that — so that might open a new frontier.
A lot of detail, right?
If you’d like to know even more, check out the addition resources and testimonials housed within this site.
Fundamentally, though, there’s a level where reading about this is like reading about skiing — it describes the experience, but isn’t the same as having it. If we haven’t had that exploratory session, that can be a way to bridge the gap. I’m a big believer in my clients’ intuition, as well. You might not always listen to that inner voice, especially when what you know you need to do isn’t comfortable, but keep listening.
If you're the kind of person who likes to know what they're getting into, the outline below will help. It's a non-specific overview of some of the tools I use to help you achieve the results you are looking for. And, of course, it only describes what might happen to you — the process and the intention. The shifts that take place within you will definitely be unique to you!
Exploratory Session
For most clients, the first step is a 45-60 minute exploratory session. It helps us both better understand what you’re looking for, and see if a concentrated approach is appropriate. I’ll focus on the outcomes you want. I’ll also ask about shifts you might want to see in yourself to confirm that a new path is opening up. And, of course, I’ll answer your questions as well.
During this session, we can both assess our match. If you are like most of my clients, you live a busy life and are preparing to express some vulnerability to achieve your goals. You need someone you can trust, who you feel good about and who has the right resources. I want a good match, too. There's no point in selling you my services if the odds of helping are remote. That would waste my time and yours.
If we decide not to work together, I still strive to make the time we spend useful. You might find the area where you were stalled started to lighten up just as a result of the conversation. Sometimes our exploratory session can help you define what you are seeking. That might lead you to realize you don’t really want to change things right now or that you need a different kind of resource. I might even suggest one. Or, you might just need some time to confirm you’re ripe for this kind of work — we’ll work together, just not yet.
Preparation
If we both want to work together, or if you need help deciding, I’ll offer one of several writing exercises as preparation for our concentrated session. These typically take 15 minutes a day and are done for just three or four days. This preparation might be a way to further clarify the outcomes you seek if you could get what you REALLY wanted — as opposed to what seems feasible. Or, it might be a way to help you relax about something that’s getting in the way of the result you want, so that it’s easier for you to shift. These exercises will be structured in a way that you’ll find them easy, even playful, to do — and, if not, I’ll ask you not to do them. The idea is to reduce burdens, not increase them!
I’ll also ask you to review and sign a “coaching agreement.” It’s a one-page document that asks you to certify that you’re a healthy candidate for this type of work, that you understand that it’s not therapy or a substitute for therapy, that you’ll be on time for the work we schedule and give me appropriate notice if not, and so on. Apart from the kind of legal protection that’s a reality of today’s world, this document is intended to set the stage for a serious commitment to the work you’re planning.
Concentrated Session
Most of the work happens in this concentrated session. Usually, I plan for three hours — sometimes we wrap sooner, sometimes later. Most of my clients work with me by Skype or phone, but face-to-face can be an option too. Usually, I schedule the concentrated session up between a week and a month from the initial exploratory session. The session has four components.
- Recap/restate the outcomes you want.
What’s the key milestone on the path you’re seeking? How might you know at the end of this session you were on that path? - Reconnect to Passions and Core Intention
In the context of the outcomes you want, what are the things that you love to do — your passions, talents, contributions that inspire you, etc.? We’ll spend perhaps a half hour talking about these, with the intention of uncovering deeper and deeper connections to what inspires you, what you might call "soul intentions." Once we’ve done that, we’ll move to a point in the future where what you want has actually been realized, and create an experience as if it were already existent. You’ll most likely complete this part of the session with a lot of positive energy, and also a sense that what you really want — at least, critical elements of it — is worth doing and isn’t just a pipedream. You’ll probably get a few creative insights about what you want as well and it won’t seem as insurmountable as it once appeared to be. (By the way, I train other coaches, and therapists, in this technique...see the Anchoring to Core Intention training tab if you're curious about that, or want more details about the process.) - Resolve Inner Conflicts and Establish Alignment
Now that you’ve created a powerful experience of building what you’d been stalled at, as well as more sense of its possibility, I’ll guide you to further align your inner world (this will take about an hour).
We all have parts, you know, and while it’s likely that one part of you really wanted the outcome we’d been talking about, others either didn’t want it, or didn’t understand it enough to know whether or not they wanted it … but were certainly scared about what it would take to get there.
This is not an analytical "pro vs. con" conversation. I’ll help you find your "inner coach," that wise voice that has courage, compassion, connection, curiosity, creativity, and presence, to be the witness and coordinator other parts need. Although this process can seem unusual at first, you’ll find you’re able to do it quickly. It’s much better than trying to argue yourself into something. After all, if you could resolve your challenge rationally, or by simply adding on more skills, you’d have done it already. Parts that might have been polarized about the outcome (one part wanting it very strongly, another more apprehensive) will find common ground. It’s also possible that we’ll touch parts that are scared of the outcome because of past experiences they’ve had, and be able to calm and perhaps even help them heal. - Establish a "Real World" Practice to Build Persistency
By this point, it's likely you'll have gained unique insights and have experienced some shifts inside you as well — among them sensing that there is now a path that can lead you from where you are to where you want to get to. The last step in this concentrated session is to identify a daily or near-daily practice to keep the experience you had present in your day-to-day reality. It’s usually a small task that you assign yourself, it might be checking in with or meditating with one of the parts you uncovered, retrieving an object from your past that reminded you of an inner resource you’d lost track of, etc. You’ll know what it is. The point is to uncover it so it can serve as a compass to keep you directed on the new path you opened up and strengthen your new habits.
By the time we’re finished, you might also want to spend some time journaling or taking notes. It’s also ok to audio record the sessions we do if that’s helpful for you, so long as they’re for your use only.
First Follow-up Session
We will also schedule a follow-up session about two weeks after the concentrated session. I’ll schedule this for 90 minutes so we have the time if required. You might not need any follow-up at all, other than to have the experience of talking about how things have shifted and where you see yourself going next. But it's wise to check.
I’ll ask you to perform an after-action review of the time between the concentrated session and the follow up. Looking at the areas in which you wanted to see a shift, you’ll review what worked and also, with the benefit of hindsight, what you might have added (or subtracted) to achieve an even better result in the period you’re reviewing. We’ll spend perhaps 20-30 minutes on that. Often, that will identify some small piece of work we can do in the remaining time to further accelerate your progress. We’ll probably do that work using the same "inner alignment" tools we used in the third step of the concentrated coaching session. Sometimes there are a few others that we’ll use as well.
Additional Follow-Up Sessions
If you made a lot of progress following the concentrated session, but it feels like there’s still more distance to go, we’ll schedule a second follow-up session (and most likely a few after). The goal in this coaching is not for me to follow you on every step of the path we opened up, but I want to make sure you’re comfortable enough on your own. We’ll schedule those if they’re needed, typically using the same format (after action review, and some kind of work/exercise in the balance of the time).
That's a Wrap
It’s usually pretty clear when it’s time to stop.
More commonly, after the follow-up, you’ll have renewed energy for what you’d been struggling with. You’ll trust yourself to know how to get there — including knowing what else you might need to learn, or where the best way to learn is to just be in action. You’ll feel pretty much aligned internally and understand still better how to reach that alignment on your own That sense of pain and tiredness that you used to have around your objective will have dissolved. If that’s the case, my job is done.
In a few cases where I’m working with more deep-seated issues (e.g., a with a nutritionist I've partnered with for weight management), or where there’s other forms of complexity (a number of complicated businesses or other challenges all present at the same time), clients have asked me to continue to work with them for few months longer than the concentrated coaching approach would normally take. As long as I’m continuing to add value and as long as I am the best resource for the job, I’m happy to do this too. And, of course, sometimes someone I worked with months before encounters a new kind of block, and wants help on that — so that might open a new frontier.
A lot of detail, right?
If you’d like to know even more, check out the addition resources and testimonials housed within this site.
Fundamentally, though, there’s a level where reading about this is like reading about skiing — it describes the experience, but isn’t the same as having it. If we haven’t had that exploratory session, that can be a way to bridge the gap. I’m a big believer in my clients’ intuition, as well. You might not always listen to that inner voice, especially when what you know you need to do isn’t comfortable, but keep listening.
Contact MarkPick up the phone: (267) 629-2189
Drop me a line: mark@concentratedcoaching.net |
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