“We think we’re naturally logical and should know how to respond to these challenges,” explains Mark R. Hurwich, MBA, Concentrated Coaching, LLC. “People have passions to pursue or realize they need to open a new chapter in their lives. But internal struggles get in the way and block progress. Because it makes no sense when we get stuck that way, we respond by trying the same ‘rational’ things over and over – forcing ourselves to try to do what we know we ought to and have enough skills for.”
“However, trying to act in that rational way itself makes no sense! Humans aren’t designed to be rational 100% of the time…and when we can’t be, different strategies are needed.”
Mark offers alternative strategies, insights, success stories, FAQs and experience that can lead to a dramatic difference at concentratedcoaching.net. Here are a few of his suggestions for getting unstuck.
- “Acknowledge your emotions.” Mark reminds us that our behavior will not always be logical and is affected by our emotions, which we must acknowledge, identify and address. Thus, when we’re “feeling stuck,” there are emotions behind the scenes, especially fear. Coming to terms with them can be liberating and help us see and act on rewarding possibilities and opportunities
- “Explore the solution, not just the problem. When we’re stuck, we tend to dwell in that space of problem and failure, and recreate more negative energy. We can change that by looking at what it will be like when we have the outcomes we want.”
- “Remind yourself of your gifts. When we get stuck in a problem state, we feel incompetent. That feeds our fear and saps our energy for change. Reminding yourself of the special talents you bring can be an antidote for that—especially when you have a trusted friend of partner to help you,” Mark adds. For example, you might say, “People appreciate my creativity, my team spirit or my leadership skills.” That can build confidence so you can represent yourself in a way that supports a new working relationship, whether as an entrepreneur or working for another organization. “As my clients recall their gifts, they often say, ‘I needed this useful lesson and helpful reminder’.”
- “Experience the journey with self-compassion and playfulness. People who are too hard on themselves delay the process and their potential. If you have been in this position – feeling stuck and more confused – try to step back, relax and accept yourself. That’s when the magic happens.”
- “Put yourself in the future you want, and then interview yourself from that perspective.” Think of it as a time machine taking you into your future. When you imagine the experience you want, it helps you achieve it or a version of it in reality. Do it by actually putting yourself in the future – not looking at the future from the present. The former eases our fears because most of our brain can’t distinguish imagining from the actual experience. The latter tends to focus us on how-to’s that aren’t relevant yet and only build fear. When our fear circuits are active, it’s hard to be creative.”
- “Talk to your parts.” Mark reminds us that “we’re not monolithic and each of us has different parts and personalities. It’s like an internal family system – sometimes in a civil war. [See the movie Inside Out if you want a current, fun example!] So, moderate the conversation between your two opposing parts, identify pros and cons, and you will soon understand the different perspectives and find common ground that helps you feel unstuck.”
As you consider Mark’s suggestions, you might also appreciate his Warm Up Exercise.